SlamBall is coming back. Can't see how this could end wrong.

Everyone remembers Slam Ball, the quasi-basketball league where padded rims, trampoline-laden courts, and slam dunks prevail. It was on Spike TV for two seasons and then canceled.

Well, according to the New York Times, SlamBall is coming back in 2009 with eight teams.

This should be fun.

From the New York Times:

"One reason for bringing SlamBall back was the success it had when it was licensed as a league last summer in Italy. TV ratings outstripped projections.

The goal in SlamBall’s second go-round in the United States is to elevate its quality and establish a viable league that could spin off leagues in Asia and Europe. “It’s a start-up, yes, but its appeal is unique and broad-based,” said Tollin, who recently produced “The Bronx Is Burning” miniseries and the “Bonds on Bonds” reality series for ESPN.

The league is holding tryouts in April at Brooklyn’s Aviator Sports and Recreation facility; in Los Angeles; and at the IMG Academies in Bradenton, Fla., where training camp will winnow the field that survived the tryouts to 64 players, or eight per team."

2008 Fantasy baseball draft live blog.

Well, against my better judgment, I joined my friends' Fantasy Baseball league for the third year in a row. My last two teams were garbage. I finished in the lower-third of both the leagues. Mainly because of injuries. But it could also be because I didn't even look at my roster after I drafted it.

This year? Hell no. I am back with a vengeance. I have my Jason Bay jersey on, and I am ready to draft.

8 minutes left until the draft begins.

This should be fun.

6 minutes....

Choice of music will be essential if I want to hit this draft hard. Modest Mouse? Broken Social Scene? Or shall I pull a Will Leitch and go for Nirvana's Nevermind? The Shins it is.

3:28 pm One quick bathroom break...

3:30 And we are off... No sign of Shacker, one of the leagues managers. He takes A-Rod, and I follow up with Johan. I am already crossing my fingers. My friends better not take my pre-selected players.

3:33 I got a comment that my team is going to get raped. Wow. Trash begins early.

3:35 I take Joe Nathan. I have his signature. I feel special. Shacker takes B.J. Upton, probably for his name, as a commentary to his sad sexual situation. That's right... I said it. We are already on round 10 of 27.

3:40 I take Ted Lilly. Just because he is one of my favorite ball players. He will truly become the End Guard this season on my team. I take Adam Dunn. Because Adam is a sexy name. Oh, damn.... I don't have a shortstop!

3:42 Ball Basher steps up and takes Nick Markakis. I tell him how I feel about him by taking Kosuke Fukudome.

3:45 Round 18 of 27. Coming to me, I take Brian Roberts. The best Utility player left on the board.'

3:46 I reminisce about picking Francisco Liriano last year. He had Tommy John surgery at the last minute, and was out all season. Great pick.

3:48 I take the man who's jersey I am wearing: Jason Bay.

3:50 All my spots are filled. I can assume everyone else's are too. Time to fill up the bench.

3:51 I take Ankiel. Will, this is for you. Another End Guard.

3:53 Two more picks left. One after I grab Rafael Furcal.

3:54 And just like that, it is all done. My team will be posted in a minute.

Damn... I have four shortstops. That's a long shot compared to the whopping ZERO I had in round 12

I need some more pitchers. But I need to keep Ankiel and Lilly. They are mine. The 2008 edition of the End Guards are as follows: E.G. = Honorary "End of the bench, guard of the water" player.

Batters:
Russel Martin (C)
Derrek Lee (1B)
Chone Figgins (2B,3B,RF)
Ryan Braun (3B)
Troy Tulowitzki (SS)
Adam Dunn (LF)
Carlos Beltran (CF)
Kosuke Fukudome (RF)
Andruw Jones (CF)
Torii Hunter (CF)
Jason Bay (LF)
Travis Hafner (1B)
Brian Roberts (2B)
Ian Kinsler (2B)
J.J. Hardy (SS)
Carlos Guillen (1B, SS)
E.G. Rick Ankiel (CF, RF)
Rafael Furcal (SS)
Miguel Tejada (SS)

Pitchers:
Johan Santana (SP)
Josh Bekett (SP)
Justin Verlander (SP)
Joe Nathan (RP)
Francisco Rodriguez (RP)
E.G. Ted Lilly (SP)
Francisco Cordero (RP)
Roy Oswalt (SP)

Australian gets kicked out of her tennis club for grunting too loudly.

Anyone who has watched tennis at a professional level for more than one set has commented on the grunting coming out of the players mouths. Well get this:

A nine-year-old Australian tennis player was thrown out of her tennis club for grunting too loudly.

Lauryn Edwards was told at the weekend that she could no longer play her favourite sport after a complaint by an opposition player. The Mt Carmel Tennis Club, in Sunbury, told Lauryn's stunned parents, Duncan and Ruth, that the grunting had become too much.

I have always thought that grunting could be avoided. Lauryn, the grunter, does not seem to think so:

"It feels natural to do my noise. I'm not faking it,"

At the professional level, I thought that it was forced to distract your opponent.

The dad, naturally was thrilled.

"They told me to guarantee she won't grunt or she can't play,

How can I guarantee that? She's been doing it since she was really little. She's her own person.

What do they want me to do? Put Band-Aids over her mouth? They made her cry on the court when they told her.

She was in such a state that I had to bring her home mid-match."

Usually trading players involves, well.... Getting something BACK.

Well, another trade deadline has come and gone. Some trades, I say, were pretty good. I'd say that the Hossa trade to the Penguins was pretty fair. Not to mention, a real blockbuster.

I'd also argue that the Campbell trade to San Jose was fair.

My team, the Toronto Maple Leafs, who by the way, just began a 20 game win streak with their second win in a row, dropped Chad Kilger, Hal Gill, and a fan favorite, Wade Belak.

But there were some incredibly stupid trades going on today. Seriously stupid trades.

• Adam Foote to the Avs -- for a Conditional 1st round pick in '08 or '09, 4th round pick


• Cristobal Huet to the Washington Capitals -- for a 2009 2nd round draft pick


• Sergei Federov to the Washington Capitals -- for a college player -- Ted Ruth (NCAA)

I can only imagine how happy Ted Ruth is right now. He just got traded for Sergei Federov.

Comment all you want...

You don't need to make an account or anything. Just click on 'Anonymous' or 'Name/URL'. I would love to discuss the stuff I post with the readers. Just, you know... Be respectful.

Megan Stoncious appears on front page of Toronto Star sports section.

Megan Stoncious, the incredible athlete who graduated from IONA Catholic Secondary School (my high school) last year, appeared on the front page of the Toronto Star's sports section.

Megan won the Toronto Star's Athlete of the week award once, and was on just about every sports team the school had to offer. Her marks were great (or so I hear), and she was quite popular.

The reason she showed up on the front page is because the UofT defeated York University 99-91 in overtime in the semifinals. They will face McMaster in the women's basketball final.

Megan (not sure if I am on a first-name basis with her, but I can't imagine addressing her as simply 'Stoncious') ended up going 0/3 FG, 4/6 FT, with 2 rebounds, playing 12 minutes.

The star of the show was Laila Bellony with 21 pts, 15 rebounds, playing 29 minutes.

I wonder if the championship will be broadcast.... doubtful.

It's getting kind of hairy over here.

• Reed Johnson has some unfortunate facial hair.


• The Top 11 Mullets in sports.

1984 Blue Jays promotional video.

It doesn't get better than Big hair, porn mustaches, old-school 1980s baseball uniforms, and a Thriller spoof all combined into one video. That what's in this 1984 Toronto Blue Jays spring training feature.

Toskala has an enormous .... glove.

...Wait. What?

Leafs fans flashed. Leafs win. Everyting looks good.

Last night, Greg and I went to a Leafs game. They won, but who really cares anymore. With all the goals scored in the first period, eyes kind of wandered away from the game. There were sights to be seen: including (but not limited to: read on) the medical emergency in the stands. The game never really got too loud except for right after the Leafs' 3 goals. And, of course when the blonde directly across from the leaf's bench flashed the crowd.

Toronto Star (Feb. 20, 2008):

This will get all the fans back in the seats they paid for. Not necessarily the Maple Leafs' win 3-1 over the Columbus Blue Jackets that was, for the most part, far from entertaining. It's probably too late for that competence stuff, anyway.

No, the customers seemed to be at their happiest when a young lady, sitting down low in a white shirt, popped her top for the masses, although to what degree remained a matter of debate. No witnesses claimed to see London or France, much less London or Paris, although some spectators behind the Leafs bench, a whole rink away, were hiking up their own shirts in encouragement.

It had been going on for a while, with her nipple-rubbing, and doing the good old pull-the-turtle-neck's-neck and the bend-over-for-the-horny-fans-surrounding-her moves.

Our seats were right beside the TV-video cameras, and the photographers were in front of them.

At the end of the second period (the last period anyone in the stadium saw her) when the photographers were reviewing their pictures on their laptops, Greg and I could see that one of the photographers had taken a picture of the lady:

What exactly was he planning on doing to that? He couldn't publish that in a newspaper, or on the web, though it could go on With Leather. There is only one explanation.

Note: I couldn't find a picture of the lady. Though, if I find one, it will go here.

1950's Marlboro ad promotes being a racist with lung cancer.

From Kissing Suzy Kolber:

I learned something today. Namely, that in 1958, NFL broadcasts were sponsored by Marlboro and America was an awesome place to be. Just watching this old commercial makes me want to drive a Packard, drink scotch and listen to be-bop on the Hi-Fi.

Pay special attention to the cartoon mascots of the era:

* The Redskins mascot: probably the most racist thing in the history of Western Civilization. If D.W. Griffith had been alive when this thing was made, he would have said "are you sure we can't tone this down a scoch?"

* The Packers proxy is a cleaver wielding maniac. How did Marlboro anticipate Jeffrey Dahmer's reign of terror in Wisconsin?

* True story: the Cleveland Browns mascot is played by a young Dennis Kucinich.

* As this commercial was made during the twentieth century, there is no reference to a Boston pro football franchise.

Thank you for this.

A man at his TV with a camera.

No big story here: I was flipping through channels, and I caught Texas A&M on pace for a whopping 16 points. (They ended up with 50). A hilariously slow start.


I saw a Croc's ad on the boards in Colorado. I know it is a bad image. (You would be surprised how hard it is to get a clear picture of a single ad on the boards.) This is pretty odd. You would usually expect ads for the Versus network, NHL.com and whatnot. I am actually surprised that Crocs still has the money to do this after Maddox got them.

My poor retinas.

I'll be at the Leafs game. No TV for me tonight. But if I was to stay home, I'd be watching:

7:30 PM NHL - Colombus Blue Jackets vs. Toronto Maple Leafs.
It really is the best bet.

Sorry.

Zaun denies, Clemens denies, Gagne apologizes (denies).

So, where are we with all of this steroid stuff? Haven't those people who were named in the Mitchell report have some sort of crisis on their hands? Are they distracted from preparing for the up-and-coming season? Is the world ending? Is the sky falling on the world of baseball?

Well, not really. Sure the world of baseball is being shaken up over this whole steroids thing, but just relax. Who really cares?

Gregg Zaun, the Toronto Blue Jays catcher, and probably my favorite player in the MLB simply denies ever buying or using performance-enhancing drugs. Back to practice. How about a higher batting average this year, Zaun? Maybe throw a couple (15) more people out at second?

Everyone knows the story with Roger Celemens. Someone is lying, and someone isn't. It is that simple, and anyone how has heard anything about the hearing knows pretty much which one is which.

Andy Pettite is the only person who actually moves this case to either Clemens or McNamee's side, and right now, he remembers (as opposed to misremembers) that Roger took performance enhancing drugs. He said that he is not picking sides, just telling it like it is. Because, after all, it is what it is.

Finally, Eric Gagne, the Brewers pitcher, apologizes to his teammates for creating a distraction that diverts the attention of his teammates away from baseball, if only briefly.

David Tyree is just getting used to the fame.

David Tyree's catch may go down in history as "The Play 2", "The Giant Snatch", or my personal favorite, "The Shawshank Reception". No Bill Simmons, "The Helmet Catch" isn't a good name. It doesn't cover Eli Manning's escape.

Nonetheless, Tyree is certainly having trouble adjusting to the new fame that comes with the most batshit crazy play in my Super Bowl memory.

From a recent interview:

"I'm sort of a creature of habit," he said Thursday. "I go to the I-Hop and places where they know me as a person. It never was a big deal, but now when I'm at the I-Hop I can feel everyone looking my way. It's all new to me."

Rejected marraige proposal at Rockets game.

This is one of those things that I have to use my conscience in order to post.

This video has nothing to do with sports being played.

But, it happened at a basketball game... And it is as funny as hell.

Here you go:

My poor retinas.

7 PM College Basketball - Syracuse vs. Louisville

10:30 PM NHL - Phoenix vs. Los Angeles Kings
To put more space between the Leafs and last place.

Playing 8 games on this side of the Peace Bridge is not a really good idea, Ralph.

Every weekend in the winter, I pack up my things, and head down the QEW. Sure, traffic slows down at the Ford Plant, but it is easily avoidable. An hour an a half later, I hit the border. Then, immediately, I am immersed in the city of Buffalo. I look to the left, I see the beautiful Dunn Tire Park, where the Buffalo Bisons play. On my right, and behind the Aud, I can see HSBC Arena, where the Sabres play. It is brief, but Buffalo hits you.

I am on my way to Ellicottville, a town with just under 2,000 people in it. It's main source of revenue is it's ski slopes. It has two of them. My family and I have been skiing there for the past eight years. But before I get there, I pass through Orchard Park. The way you see Orchard Park through the windows of the car is quite boring actually. Tons of farms, and an off-ramp or two. Then, the Ralph. It is far off in the distance, but it is there. This small town holds an NFL team. Well, Buffalo's NFL team.

Recently, the Bills cut a deal with the powers-that-be to send the Bills to Toronto's Rogers Centre for 8 games. 5 of those games would be regular season games played over the course of 5 years. The remaining 3 would be scattered pre-season games. This has caused unrest in Buffalo. I have seen it first hand.

Ralph Wilson is pushing 90 years old (October 17, 1918). Ralph has said that he does not intend to leave the Bills to his wife, Mary, or any of his three daughters. This is causing even more unrest. The future of the Bills is uncertain. The idea of selling the Bills to wealthy businessmen in Toronto is unsettling to say the least. I consider myself a Bills fan, and even though I live in (around) Toronto, I don't want the Bills to move to Toronto.


It actually confuses me as to why the Bills would even want to play in Toronto. For one, the field is terrible. It is FieldTurf. But that is besides the point. The fans in Buffalo are quite passionate about their team. I have been inside many houses in the area for parties and whatnot. There is always a ton of memorabilia, souvenirs, old tickets, etc. Why tear their team away from them? Especially when the only reason the fans are coming to the stadium is to see the Patriots. It seems likely that Toronto fans will see the Pats, too.

A curious note: Getting tickets for these Bills games is quite awkward. Instead of paying for individual game tickets, you must buy a pack with all of the 5 years worth of tickets in it. At an average of $250 per head per game. You will receive a priority status for this pack, if you are a season ticket holder of the CFL's Toronto Argonauts. (And not, alarmingly, Bills season ticket holders.) Are they worried that interest in the team will go 'downhill' over time?

Looking at the big picture, the Bills playing in Toronto, and possibly permanently moving to Toronto after Ralph Wilson's death is not a good idea.

- Buffalo Bills fans love this team. Someone needs to stop and take a look.

- Bills fans from Toronto may keep the Bills' heads above water (financially), but they certainly won't do anything for the team in terms of fan support. Actually, I take that back. Toronto fans would be ecstatic to see the Pats, Cowboys, Colts etc. in Toronto.

- Finally, Buffalo Bills fans love this team. Someone needs to stop and take a look.

I know. It has been said.

Shout.

All Star Weekend highlights, so far.

It is unlikely that another highlight post will be written this weekend. Unless something completely out-of-this-world happens tonight at the All Star Game.

T.O. goes baseline for a jam at the Celebrity Game:




LaMarcus Aldridge gets the bird from Sean Williams after losing the Rookie vs. Sophomore game.

My poor retinas.

8:00 pm NBA All Star Game - Don't watch this game if you like defense; at all.
I have received a prediction that the East wins 142-129.
I say the East wins 146-132.

8:00 pm NHL - Calgary vs. Anaheim - Fire is the best way to cook a duck.

Nothing is exciting about a Superman get-up. He didn't even dunk the basketball.

The NBA Slam Dunk Contest is beginning to get pretty stupid. Last night, the winner, Dwight Howard, threw on a Superman costume, much to the crowd's (amusement/amazement)? Well, whatever it was, they clearly over reacted.

It seemed that all of the announcers (Kevin Harlan, Kenny Smith, Charles Barkley, Magic Johnson, Cheryl Miller), Kobe, the judges, players wives, and well, everyone in New Orleans Arena was on their feet. Just because of a Superman costume. As soon as the ball was dunked thrown into the basket, there was a loud, "YOU WIN!!! YOU WIN!!!" From the announcer's booth. Dwight didn't spin, didn't put the ball in between his legs, or anything. Just a one-handed dunk from about three feet inside the free-throw line.

I can't think of anything that would make me that ecstatic after an All-Star Event. Maybe Jamario Moon's bounce-360 dunk (second dunk in video) in the first round. Or maybe Jason Kopono winning the three point contest by a mile.

In other news, I still can't dunk a basketball.

Tonight, the Maple Leafs will fight to stay out of the basement.

(Image totally unrelated to below post.) Tonight, the Leafs, with a mere 55 points in the Eastern Conference, will play the Boston Bruins, at the Air Canada Centre. (Puckdrop 7:00pm Eastern). With a regulation loss, the Leafs could end up sharing last place in the league with the Los Angeles Kings (assuming a win). Sure, it is unprobable, but it is a pretty big deal.

With the Toronto media as stupid and unrealistic as it can be concerning the Leafs, it is time for everyone to see that this season is shot. Maybe even next season too. The Leafs won't make the playoffs this year, regardless of what happens at the trade deadline, especially with Sundin (potentially, but not likely, gone).

Irrelevant fact:

In grade nine, I was told that I was sitting in Matt Stajan's seat in chemistry class, when he went to IONA.

Buffalo Bulls fans aren't thrilled to have Reggie Witherspoon as their coach.

It seems that Buffalo Bulls fans have had enough of Reggie Witherspoon. Fans are fed up, mainly because of Reggie's timeout management, in-game substitutions, and his inability to work against a zone defense.

It looks like the Bulls may end up with a single-digit win total this season, but more importantly, the worst in the MAC. Fans want another MAC Championship, which the Bulls ended up with in 2005.

Also, with the University of Buffalo's athletic's program getting better and better, fans hardly want their Mens Basketball team to be left in the dust.

Though, Reggie needs to be given some credit. When he took over the head coaching position, he brought the team back into the spotlight of the UB sports scene, bringing (much) higher attendance.

With so much of a college basketball team's success being centered around coaching, it seems imperative that a good coach is in place.